Acceptable Bullying

I watched the documentary Spellbound with my grade 4/5 class the other week, a movie about several kids competing in a spelling bee. One of the boys profiled in the film elicited quite a reaction from several of the older boys in my class. They laughed at the boy’s mannerisms, mocked the way he laughed and called him “the geeky kid.” These are students who have participated in various anti-bullying programmes and workshops throughout their school careers, as well as being in classrooms that promote empathy and community.

But they still found it socially acceptable to denigrate and belittle someone they considered weaker than themselves (in status and in physicality) in front of their classmates and teachers. My colleague quickly stepped in and took the opportunity to analyze and criticize their behaviour, but it made me think about the acceptable forms of bullying that seem to cropping up in the popular media these days.

Take American Idol, and the caustic condemnations that Simon and Randy so flippantly cast upon the hopeful contenders, too cockeyed and tone deaf to realize they’re being slammed until half-way through the tirade. The three judges consistently dissolve into fits of derisive laughter, to the exclusion of the befuddled cantor, who just stands, the unfinished lyrics hanging heavy in the air. People are made fun of for their looks (“you look like one of those creatures that live in the jungle with those massive eyes”), their voices (“I’m not being rude, but…that was appalling”), and their exit strategies (“other door”).

The recent furor over bullying on the British reality show Celebrity Big Brother shocked audiences, spurred discussion in British parliament and peppered the newspapers of India. The collusion of Jade (a previous Big Brother contestant) and other housemates against Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty had more than a whiff of racism, Shetty being referred to as “the Indian” and “Shilpa Poppadom”.

And the public mudslinging that has gone on between Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump in the papers and on television is yet another example of adults reducing themselves to schoolyard name-calling, the nadir for me being when Trump used O’Donnell’s sexuality as an insult.

So, why are the people who make media decisions sanctioning these public displays of harassment? Why are well-adjusted adults reducing themselves to petty smear tactics, trotted out for all the world to see?

I think this is another trough in the sea of reality TV shows that push the envelope. Just as the full-on brawls on Jerry Springer were a draw, the viewing public enjoy a bit of nasty verbal repartee at the expense of those somehow deemed less than us.

The good thing in all of this is that a lot of television viewers don’t seem to be standing for it. Channel 4, who broadcast Celebrity Big Brother in Britain, received over 30 000 complaints to the British broadcasting watchdog Ofcom. Carphone Warehouse, a major sponsor of Celebrity Big Brother, withdrew their sponsorship of the show after the offensive footage was aired. And there has been public condemnation of the over-the-top insults on American Idol.

These shows and public figures are presenting bullying as an acceptable way to gain and display power. They make it easy for us to dismiss "the geeky kid" or the bad singer or the person that is culturally different from us. How can we expect our children to operate in a civilized, empathetic manner, when all around them are examples of adults bullying each other?